This is power at the local level.
First I want to state to everyone that I am a hack. Big Time.
I majored in biology and minored in art in college and now I am interviewing people for 6 digit paying jobs in Corporate America. My life ambition is to have a stained glass studio (not sell the glass, just make the glass) and I am critique-ing someone's work so that they can get paid enough money to buy my brand new car twice.
This, to me, is a dubious position that
Nah, fuck it. Most of my emails this week have read something like this:
Due to the applicant's lack of experience in the required fields we are interviewing for I cannot recommend this person for a position in our company.
My manager at this point probably thinks I have that as a draft email (I do) and that I just change the name from Dillon to Terry to Jenny (BTW - Jenny, when you are trying to be a lead on a project that implements a million dollar ERP system, people can take advice from Jen or Jennifer but not Jenny because she's from the block...mkay?).
And then I hope the person isn't about to lose their home, yacht, BMW, goat...because then I would feel bad. But then I sort of think 'whatever'.
The other thing I have had to do this week is look at Numbnut's work and see if he has completed the work he said he would do so we can pay him. Numbnuts is a contractor. A contractor is someone who is hired by either a company or a consulting firm to do a job but they don't work for either. They work, primarily, for themselves. They are the mercenaries of Corporate America. They are either very very good or very very bad. Numbnuts is very very bad. Besides his meeting etiquette, lack to deliver work and overall annoying ways (dear Dubyas: he makes liberals squirm because he is even a really annoying liberal) he work is crap. I took one of his configuration guides today and tried to set up two things using them and couldn't do either (the config guide is the bible of the type of consulting work I do, if its bad, it heresay). His work sucks. But I don't want to tell my managers that he shouldn't get paid because we all love money. And then I realize he has been a pain in my ass for 4 months and tell my manager his work sucks and he should redo everything if he wants to get paid because...
I.am.a.power.crazy.bitch.with.a.chip.on.her.shoulder.
Karma sucks, numbnuts.
Posts
6 comments:
This post made my day. Way.Fucking.Hilarious!
F hin! If his work sucks and you pay him, what does that do?
Numbnuts needs to learn a lesson and I think you are the person to teach it to him.
Just a thought.
You're not crazy...you're the one who is sane! If people aren't qualified, they shouldn't get the job. If people's work sucks and their pay is dependent on the quality of their work, then they shouldn't get paid.
Of course, *I* am a bitch at work too, so it's possible that I'm biased on this subject. But I think you're at your job for a reason, and that reason is that you're good, and they all know it. So wield that power!! Bwahaha!
Amber - since you know our corporate culture all too well, I am glad you see the humor here (especially since half our work force right now seems to be contractors).
Peter - after sleeping on it, you may be right, he made need a can of whoop ass opened on him.
Kristen - You and I would do well working together. I am sure of it.
I am one of those mercenaries. Unfortunately, like you, I suffer a little thing called professional ethics and pride in my work, which I hope helps put me in the very, very good category in my client's eyes. However: I am a mercenary so I don't have to be in your shoes- not that it isn't enviable and respectable, but I would be homicidal. Are you in a position to lay it out for the party that hired Numbnuts or oversees the contract with his firm? Just because the last four months were a mistake doesn't mean the next four have to be.
I don't know if this is true or not, but I like it. I've heard the phrase 'the voice of reason' comes from a servant whose sole function was to closely accompany the caesar whenever he made public appearances. His job was to anchor him to reality, so that when the crowds roared for him and he was paraded through the adoring masses he would remember he was there to serve them, as their representative, and not a god himself. The voice of reason would whisper to him, "You're just a man." When you start to get all megalomaniacal maybe you can chant to yourself "I am just a hamburger helper."
Here's my advice on numnuts. Be entirely selfish. If you can't configure the system based on what is in his documents, make him change them, because, in the end, it will come back to you.
I hate to say it, but you will wind up giving up weekends figuring out the configuration. I know. I've done this to hide an incompetent team member from the client.
There's nothing like documenting that the French Franc should be an enabled currency in 2005. The freakin French Franc hadn't existed in years. (and no, the Euro wasn't enabled.)
So for once in your life: BE SELFISH.
Post a Comment