Ewwwwww

On Monday I was doing a sales demo at a computer company. Everyone there was under 40 and beautiful; they had the energy of a start up and acted a little cocky. Their sales are growing leaps and bounds and they seem to have a great business model. I understand their business model extremely well because they buy and sell servers and when I started in Corporate America I also bought and sold configured computer systems, although my business centered on cash registers and point of sale systems. They want a way to sell things so that people can consume their stuff and they can report what they sell easier. That's why I was there; I sat in front of a computer for 7 hours explaining why the software I implement would be better than anyone else's software system. They asked good questions, they looked for specific things that were important to their business. Did I mention they were all beautiful?

To be honest, after about 30 minutes of being there I was a little intimidated by them.

And then I sat down in front of the computer I was going to do the demonstration on and I went to plug the power cord into the power strip located under the big corporate table we were seated around and I saw someone's toenail clippings on the floor under the under table. I pretty much spent the rest of the meeting trying to figure who in their right mind would

One: clip their toenails in the company's board room

Two: leave the toenails on the floor of the company's boardroom

I was also wondering if this was some type of Fight Club subversion, a disgruntled employee's passive aggressive attack on the management or if they had been there a while and the cleaning people didn't bother to vacuum under the table.

Things My Mom Taught Me

When I was a teenager my mom sat me down for a talk about the facts of life. Not those facts of life, the other facts of life, the facts about being a working woman. She pretty much assumed I would work and she felt that since her mother and father didn't really sit her down for this talk and my dad was basically socially developmentally disabled, it fell upon her to let me know what she had learned while working. Since mother's day is coming up and I like doing little odes to my mom (she was a rock star), I will now impart the wisdom she bestowed upon me to you, since it is great advice.

1. If you don't ask for it, you won't get it. Women hear this over and over and yet they still get paid less than men. The last job I interviewed for I requested an additional week of vacation and I got it because I asked and had a great reason to ask for it: I had that much vacation in my last job and if they wanted me to work for them they had to ante up. Does anyone honestly think and employer is going to give them something out of the goodness of their heart? Right. Of course, I also quit that job because the other things I asked for just weren't going to happen.
   
2. Your work might suck ass but it doesn't mean you're fat or stupid. This is particularly hard for women. Someone criticizes their work (or their cooking) and they take it as a personal attack on themselves (my husband still loves me even though one time I added a lot of oregano to refried beans instead of cilantro although he has asked me not to make refrieds like that again). Some people have a really hard time separating themselves from the work product they create. Yes, we put a lot into our work, yes we care deeply about the product, but it is a product of us, it is not us. Unfortunately this problem permeates blogging as well. I have read blogs where the commenter said they didn't agree and the blogger took it as a personal attack even though the commenter didn't really make a personal attack. Those posts always get fun and screechy because then all these other commenters rush to the defense of the damsel in distress and it makes for great drama. Today I was reading a blog I like and he had reviewed the Lou Reed show that occurred last night. Some people were a little critical of his review (myself included) but someone who commented anonymously (of course) left this comment: "You're the dumbest asshole that ever lived. Lou Reed is the best f**in' man in the world. Nobody can do it as good as him. He's the fuckin' best! You suck." Mr Bugg responded in an appropriate way: "I may be an asshole, but I'm certainly not dumb. As far as your "Lou Reed is the best man in the world" comment, I was wondering how much of his money was he giving to Doctors without Borders last night? Also, what does f**in' mean? I think you were trying to say "fuckin'" and you failed miserably. But what do I know, I'm apparently the dumb one." Classic response, my mom would have been proud. Mr Bugg clearly understands that comments to his review were not an admonition of his intelligence or weight. If only the rest of the world could handle idiots as smoothly as Mr Bugg.
   
3. Don't worry about crying but don't do it in an obvious place. I have such a hard time with this theory but this was her logic: women deal with stress in their own way, and that is often not healthy. Crying is an accepted way to deal with stress and women are taught this at a very early age. Boys, on the other hand, are told to 'take it like a man.' Women are also told to be nice (what are little girls made of? That's right: sugar and spice and everything nice, notice there is nothing in there about stoic wherewithal or brass cajones). When a woman gets really stressed and frustrated, which are emotions they are not really taught to deal with, they scream and cry. It's what they do, some don't but lots do. Screaming is a career limiting move (CLM). Crying is seen as weak but not as much a CLM as screaming. People hate screaming and crying but crying you can hide. My friend Tina has repeatedly said to me 'I need to vent for 5 minutes and then I will be fine.' She vents, she tears up, and she moves on and gets her business done. Getting that emotional shit out of the way clears the path to take care of what needs to be taken care of so much better than stewing over it. Of course, if women didn't take everything so freaking personally, this wouldn't happen as much either.
   
4. Add point 2 and point 3 together and you get this one: when there is an issue, state the problem with facts and not emotions. Lay out the problem succinctly and with care to avoid the emotions or you will have a much harder time getting the problem fixed.
   

See, my mom was a genius.

7 Windows to My Soul

Peeking in on my Daughter sleep, especially after I have been away all week.

The look on my husband's face when I said 'I do.'

Looking at Bingo Lake holding my mother's hand.

Seeing a seedling emerge from soil.

Looking at a piece of glass, and realizing what I could turn it into.

Bull's Sluice at 4 feet.

The sunrise at Ferry Beach.

 

7 Windows of my Soul was a post first done by Jen. If you choose to add your 7 windows, let her and Jess know and they will add you to their post.

Landed

PS - This posted to Blogger with only one problem, Blogger didn't like the font I used so I had to change it once it was loaded. I hate admitting this but sometimes I like Microsoft products.

I am trying something new, I am writing my post in Word and it is supposed to upload to my blog for me. I hope this works. How is everyone? I am great. I quit my last company, as I not so recently posted, and have been a tad bit busy. I would love to tell you I was happily busy in my glass studio, breaking glass and making art, but we still don't have electricity in the building.

Patience, Charlie, patience. (This is an old Charlie Parker album, in case you are wondering).

I have gotten my first gig under my new company. It will last 13 weeks and it is running an implementation of one of my favorite applications. I have set up my own company and have a new company email address which I have shared with a few people who I chat with quite often. One of these people sent me the following email:

Dear Arwen,

I would hire you, but I still don't really understand what you do.

Love,

Jen

Hmmm, OK. In the last two weeks I have tried to explain my work repeatedly, all to no avail. I often think of this famous quote: I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that…so what I've been doing lately is kick-boxing, which is a new sport.

I have actually skirted all those career avenues without become a kick-boxer, although that may be my life work and I just haven't realized it yet. I am an Information Technology consultant, in particular a database applications maven. There are some people that want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I help people implement the software that will allow them to do that. In particular, I specialize in the Order to Cash process. I help people implement the software to take orders, process orders, ship orders, invoice orders and account for said orders. I can work with companies that rely heavily on sales reps and I can work for companies that heavily rely on call centers and I can work with companies that do lots of different types of sales. Sometimes, I work heavily with customer service groups. I set up complex pricing systems, contracting systems and even can implement systems that generate commission statements for that sales system I just implemented.

In a nutshell, I enable consumerism.

Oh, In case you are wondering

I am still alive. I quit my job. I am still alive. Next week my daughter turns 7. I am still alive. I have been working from home for the last two weeks. I am doing pretty good. My past employer wanted me to work 200 miles away for 5 days weeks (leave Sunday night, return Friday late) for the next two years, so I quit. I am more than alive, I am thriving. My stained glass studio is almost ready for me to start working in it. How could I be anything other than thriving? I have had job offers without even updating my resume.
Things are really good.
This is not a belated April Fool's joke.

Open Letter to My Dear Friend

Dear Kara,

Thank you for coming to visit me. If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be nearly as far along with your guest suite (that won't have electricity when you get here but we.were.so.close). You will be staying in the main house this time but we can go drink out there after the kids have fallen asleep, it will be just like high school again. Also, thank you for having you daughter, whom we love to pieces. Without her we would have never spent 3 hours cleaning our daughter's bedroom on Sunday. We couldn't actually see the floor to her play room before we started. We hauled out 2 bags of recycling, 2 bags of trash and 2 bags of Goodwill. And she still has plenty of crap to play with. And by the way, I went easy on candy in the easter baskets but of course made up for it with more crap (flying bunnies, anyone?). So anyway, Don't wait up for me Thursday night. I can't wait to see you.
Love,
Arwen

Gary Gygax

Gary Gygax, creator of Dungeons and Dragons has passed away. I found this out by reading Google News. I thought it would an article in the Entertainment section but no, it was here: That's right, in SCI/TECH right where it belongs.