A Classic Poem Revisited

I will not play at tug o' war.
I'd rather play at hug o' war
Where everyone hugs, Instead of tugs
Where everyone giggles
And rolls on the rug
Where everyone kisses, And everyone grins, And everyone cuddles, And everyone wins.
-- Shel Silverstein

my version:

I will not play at mommy wars

I'd rather drink at sleazy bars

where everyone's tipsy, instead of lippy

where everyone's singing

and just kind of dippy

where everyone smiles, and and everyone's thin and except for our livers, everyone wins.