Anthropologist for Corporate America Takes a Leave of Absence and Becomes Addicted to Swiffers

I wish there is a meeting for Swiffers Anonymous. I realized I had a problem when Noodle and I went to Target today and they only had swiffers in a 16 count. 16? I wanted a hundred pack, maybe more. I have a 12 swiffer a day habit. We have a hundred pound dog and three furry cats, I have some swiffering to do ALL THE TIME. Other things I have found about myself since I became a anthropologist in the domestic world:
1. There is such a thing as scrud. Without looking at Google can anyone tell me what it is? I learned about it when I was cleaning the other day. I was cleaning one of the appliances in my house and found it. It is gross - think of the blob. Gross.
2. My child hates my singing. She threatens to move out if I sing. I sing while I swiffer. I swiffer a lot. My child may learn to equate singing with swiffering and may learn to hate it. If so, I hope she has carpets when she grows up.
3. In August, it doesn't matter how carefully you seal your dishwasher soap, they will cling together and then rip apart because the humidity in Asheville has been ridiculous.
4. I love doing laundry. Shut up. Move on. I love it. You start with something stinky and it comes out soft and clean and warm. And no, I am not going to rush over to your house to do yours, learn to love it as I do.
5. I hate vacuuming.
6. I have friends who are mostly domestic goddesses or close to it. I don't talk to anyone about any cleaning products (except in this blog) or feminine hygeine products or our children's bowel movements. We talk about terrorism and liberals and this chick and this chick. We talk about headier things than I ever talked about at work. Isn't funny that "stay at home' anyones can all tell stories about being dismissed in social situations because that don't leave the home to work but I have much more intellectual and thought provoking conversations at home than at work.
7. Finally in 6 weeks home I still not been able to explain to people what I do at my job when I am not pretending to be a stay at home mom. I think this may be proof that I am a hack at what I do, which is funny since in 3 weeks I go back to being a hack in corporate america instead of a hack at being a domestic goddess.