Love.Angel.Music.Baby or Blood,Sugar,Sex,Magic or Travel,Friends,Family,Work

Oh, I know, Gwen and the Red hot Chili Peppars sound a lot more interesting than me... Life for me is a little over the top right now. If my anxiety was a simmering pot it would be boiling over. It will pass, we are working to make the anxiety pass and to be honest I AM REALLY SICK OF IT SO I AM GOING TO IGNORE IT FOR AWHILE. My travel schedule is going to be a little weird this month, I home this weekend but I am going to Boston next weekend to get my mother's house in shape to be put on the market to sell. The next weekend I will be home and we are celebrating Noodle's birthday, although it is actually the 13th, we will all be travleing that day. The weekend after that I am flying to San Francisco to help my step father find a new condo.
He and my mom met on the internet about 7 years ago, one year after hubby and I became an item. We were all pretty sure that he was a leader of an internet vampire sex cult but we were all VERY wrong. They eloped in April (that is a story in and of itself) and in June my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia (CLL, for short). Jacob, my step father, could have totally ditched her, he barely knew her and here she is getting sick. But he didn't. And because of him I feel we got a lot longer time with my mom than if she had been single. And those 5 years weren't easy, her quality of life slipped a little at a time, more and more restrictions were put on her because of her health, we got to the point we were worried about how many blood transfusions she could have (give blood, people!) and finally she decided she couldn't fight anymore and she died 12 days later. And he stuck it out, he said he had no choice, she was his soul mate, and I love him a lot. Here is a picture of them the fall after they eloped and before the first major hospital stay: I still wear that turtle neck sweater. It sort of hangs on me but tough. So Jacob is moving back to San Francisco and we are selling one house and buying another and moving some stuff to San Francisco and some stuff to Asheville and it will all be fine but it is a little stressful right now. We will also move my mom's cats to Asheville (my brother is coming to help and he will move them). One of my best friends and her family are going to help us next weekend. We are going to get the house in Scituate in order, 'stage' it and hopefully sell it fast. Here is the ONLY picture I have of me and this person: The picture is a little dated (12 years). We have known eachother since we were 13. We go back. She used to come out and visit me when I was at UMASS and we would watch Dangerous Liasons and do art and weird stuff like that and party a lot. She and I were both in crappy relationships at the time, except she didn't totally realize her guy sucked ass until she had moved far away from everyone who loved her. Fortunately, that didn't last and she married a great guy (I know, I was his roommate for a year right before they got married, which is funny because she was my first roommate at summer camp). Anyway, she would come visit me and let me know from time to time that my boyfriend at the time was really an asshole. And he was. He was in a band and really insecure and projected all that insecurity on me. When I finally got out of the relationship I didn't think anyone would ever want me to date them again. She was very supportive of me leaving him. Did I mention I weighed about 105 pounds back then? I looked sick (about 15 pounds less than the picture above). It was pretty bad.
Another person who really helped at the end of the relationship was a guy named Gregory. I am not going to post his current picture because I have not asked him and I don't feel comfortable just posting pictures without permission (unless it is the chica above). In college I worked at an art center and he would come in and and do art (I am not sure I mentioned this before but I really don't belong in corporate america, I am an artist who can hide my true self). Gregory would come in and flirt and I was flattered because he was hot but then I realized that he and I were becoming really good friends. We saw Jello Biafra speak and Kurt Vonnegut and Dave Brubeck play and really enjoyed each other's company. I taught him how to garden, how to start seeds and make sure his greenhouse had the right conditions. I helped him with his bees since he was a novice and I kept bees growing up. He made me feel good when my ex-boyfriend made me feel really really bad. He helped me make the break and I don't think I ever thanked him. He lives in San Francisco with the same woman he was dating when we went to school together (I think that is cool). I get to see him in a few weeks. I get to thank him. And that is a really good thing.
And work, I am getting to a good spot but there will be a lot of pain before then end of May when I roll off this project. At that point I have to decide whether I stay with the same I company I am with now. Not an easy decision.
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