The Tasmanian Devil

My child has become the child you are afraid to send your child to school with. Today she bit a kid because he took Funny Bunny. There is more to it than that but ultimately she was in the wrong.
Yesterday she was supposed to put away her toy and she didn't and then threw a fit about it. She punched, kick and spit at the teach and through a real phone at her. She then pushed book shelf that landed on another child (the older sister of the child was bitten by Noodle 2 weeks ago). Then she a totally freaked out on my husband at the super market because he didn't get her muffins. He asked her twice if she wanted them and she didn't respond. When they got to the check out she melted down because he didn't get them. She then became that child you see and feel appreciative that it isn't your child. First there was the screaming then her head started spinning around she tried kicking and telling her dad she was going to kill him (she got that from school, we don't talk like that). Last week she was ok because she went to school late and was picked up early and had a whole hooky day with her dad extra-curriclum day with her father. Now that she is back into her normal schedule she is falling apart again.
Two weeks ago she had similar scenarios that she had this week.
The guilt I feel around this is daunting. This stuff is going on and I am not even here to help, Hubby has to handle all this on his own. Of course, as a friend recently said about this, even she has guilt about these situations and she doesn't travel.
Do we get extra help while I am out of town?
Do we shorten her school day (I am not sure we can even do that)?
The teacher is concerned our daughter is anxious about going to school next fall, etc... We need to reduce her anxiety, stop talking about school in the fall, stuff like that.
Oh, I haven't been blogging because my job sucks so badly right now I can't even begin to explain beyond I worked until 11:30 at night Mon - Wed this week and I am still a week behind because the applicaiton I am working with sucks rocks is fragile. I will be working all weekend when Noodle is doing other things (sleeping, play dates, etc...) and my 'management team' is mediocre at best. I am not sure what they are managing but it isn't this project.
Yeah, the kid is responding to her environment. Her mom is stressed and her dad is a single parent 4 days a week. Changing that environment is not that easy.
Damnit.